The new album by To Be Gentle, I Am a Spiritual Being Having a Human Experience, is a multi-layered, intensely introspective concept record created solely by Eve Beeker.
Written, recorded, mixed, and mastered during the summer of 2025, the album revolves around the recurring symbol of the “black triangle,” a metaphor for trauma, triangulation, and psychological manipulation.
It includes eleven tracks, among them a sprawling, hour-long composition titled You Are Greenhug and One Thousand Angelsymphonies and Live Starwoven in My Loveheart, dedicated to someone Beeker describes as “incredibly close in spirit.”
Initially, the album began with that long song as its centerpiece. “I had the entirety of it mapped out in my head,” Beeker explained. “I wanted the song to be around an hour or so partially because I wanted it to be inherently challenging in its nature; I’m sure many people won’t access it due to its length, but I myself enjoy challenging media.”
Though originally an hour and 45 minutes, storage constraints required trimming it down. “To me, the song is multiple smaller songs pieced together. They are all for my friend but I wanted to make something big for her by combining them.”
That friend remains unnamed, but their presence echoes throughout the album. Beeker emphasized the track’s significance: “I hope that my effort can be noted as well as in the actual music, lyrics and songwriting.”
The album itself, Beeker said, “was a labor of love, not only in terms of making it but also the reasons why I made it. It’s a statement of where I’m at in my life and my position in the world.” The title reflects a recurring spiritual philosophy. “The earth is filled with the greater spirit that some call God and others call the universe, but ultimately this planet is not fully natural to us. While we’re here, we pilot our lives from within our vessels, and our vessels (bodies) take upon pain, trauma, love, and growth.”
Beeker elaborated that this record ties into previous works both thematically and lyrically. But where past albums may have been more abstract, this one leans into clarity. “I felt called to be more direct this time around for some reason. I think for whoever this album calls to and affects deeply, they will also be people who have some inclination of deeper feelings and emotions, spiritual topics.”
Lyrically, the key motif is the “black triangle,” which stems from a hallucinatory episode related to Beeker’s schizoaffective disorder. “There was one where a vampiric demon was tormenting me and made everything around me appear to be dead and decaying. It tried to guide me down a pathway made of small stones that looked like black triangles.” Over time, Beeker shaped this vision into a central symbol. “For me, the triangle represents triangulation as a form of psychological manipulation… which felt both poetic and fitting.”
The cover art—a personal doodle by Beeker—is “a visual representation of how all of what the music talks about feels to me.” It depicts the Unchained Soul of Rage burying Cornelius—a recurring symbolic figure—under black triangles in the Wasteland of Anger. This, too, ties into childhood memories and psychological trauma. “The cover has a lot of the lyrics present on it,” Beeker added. “They are all thoughts I have had while overwhelmed or experiencing some sort of psychotic episode.”
Despite the emotional weight, love remains a grounding force throughout the album. “Love is the only way out of the terrible things we create for each other. We are all we have,” Beeker said. “Hate and negativity are lacking in complexity and are too easy to access. In challenging myself to be a better person, I strive to live with love and care for people who need it.”
Music, for Beeker, is both gift and mission. “It’s how I make sense of it all and through it I view the world. I want to live in a way that honors my gifts and help others see new things or think of things they normally don’t think about.” Some listeners have told Beeker that the music has saved their lives. “I am honored to offer some light to the world through my music. It gives me and others purpose.”
One of the most politically urgent tracks on the album is Please G_d Free Palestine and Bring Its Militantly Satanic Captors to Justice. It is not a metaphor. “This song is about Palestine and the injustice and violence that is being committed upon them. I pray everyday for peace for Palestine… All of what I do as an artist is for the Palestinians.”
“I want to take special care in acknowledging the Palestinian people and their perseverance and resilience,” Beeker added. “My heart goes out to them… They have been thrust into an insurmountable and unprecedented trauma that is their genocide. I pray for peace for them, and I will always advocate for the Palestinian people and their liberation.”
Though there are no collaborators on the album, it closes with thanks to friends, family, and artistic inspirations. Song 10, Fragments of a Eulogy, is a cover of a piece by Gillian Carter. The record also includes a bonus track titled Spright Red, a counterpart to Spright Blue, the lead single from April that connected Yu-Gi-Oh! lore with emotional resilience and collective strength.
The full album moves through personal trauma, mental illness, fantasy, and spirituality—each track offering a glimpse into Beeker’s inner world. In upcoming commentary, a detailed track-by-track breakdown unpacks each song’s origin and meaning. But the core themes are already clear: suffering is transformed through intention, symbolism becomes a form of resistance, and love—especially the kind tied to childlike wonder and sacred care—is not an escape, but the path through.
1. Cornelius is My Love and Light
When I was little, there were times where my mother made me throw away some of my precious and dear stuffies and toys. Those moments have been monumentally damaging to me, feeling as though I had to throw away my best friends. These toys were given to me by my father, and only later in life I realized that my mother made me do these things as a way to hurt my dad. This is a form of “triangulation” that I talk about on the album, as well as a form of triangulation as psychological manipulation. Cornelius has been with me for many years, and he is a part of me and my inner child-healing. As a way to heal my inner child, I have promised to him as well as myself that I will always protect him. This song is about how these traumas manifested in my mental illness and how it all filled me with hate. Cornelius is my love and light and always will be.
2. Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Carrying on from the last song, I developed C-PTSD and schizoaffective disorder early on in my life due to many terrible things I went through as a child. The symptoms I experience are a daily struggle, and some days it’s better, some worse than others. Sometimes it can be conjured by the smallest of triggers, but still torment me in a significant way. The line “He is not real to you because you do not understand him” is from the children’s story book version of ‘The Velveteen Rabbit’, a precious book to me that accurately describes how stuffies make sense to me. It always makes me cry when I revisit it, without fail. This line is about Cornelius and how he is real to me because he has changed me through love. “To be loved is to be changed”. He doesn’t need to be “real” because he already is. Stuffies are people I could always rely on when I felt outcasted and alone as a kid.
3. Unchained Soul of Rage
My symptoms can be so uncomfortable and full-bodied that I become incredibly angry. I feel a lot of anger. I feel angry about what is happening politically in my country, what is happening to people close to me, and especially what is happening to Palestinians in Palestine. I call this feeling, the unchained soul of rage. When thinking of these things, my body temperature will rise and I shake violently. It is very uncomfortable, and it stems from bearing witness to injustice.
The cover of this record is The Unchained Soul of Rage: portrayed here is the Unchained Soul of Rage carrying and piling up black triangles within the Wasteland of Anger, burying Cornelius (one of the many manifestations of the Indefatigable Soul of Love) in the chaos. The Unchained Soul of Rage (or as I sometimes see it as, the wounded inner child) in an attempt to make sense of it all has a tantrum and throws about its building blocks out of confusion and frustration, leaving behind a larger and much more complex “triangle” than there was before.
4. I Possess the Gall to Pain All Those in Life I’ve Touched
Within me is the desire to not be alive, and to be in the next life that is beyond the pain and suffering here on earth. But, I have a mission while I’m here that fills me with determination and purpose, and it is to help others in any way I can until my time here is up. Love is the anchor that keeps me here, for better and for worse. I have a mission and it is to help others with my music and art, as well as with my actions and words.
5. Without Knowing of Where to Put It All Down
As seen on the cover, The Unchained Soul of Rage is dropping and piling up numerous ‘black triangles’. He does this because the traumas and circumstances he faces are far too great (symbolized by the triangles), and is overwhelmed with what to do with all of it. This song is about how at times I can be thrust into so much pain and anxiety that I don’t know how to handle it all or self-soothe.
6. Please G_d Free Palestine and Bring Its Militantly Satanic Captors to Justice
This song is about Palestine and the injustice and violence that is being committed upon them. I pray everyday for peace for Palestine, and pray that God will provide them mercy and relief, as well as justice and redemption. There is no defense for the obscenity and violence that is being used against Palestine. To me, this violence is cut from the same cloth of the most evil things in this world. All of what I do as an artist is for the Palestinians. I hope that what I have to offer the world artisitcally can help continue the conversation about Palestine and show others the gravity of the situation there.
7. Indefatigable Soul of Love
This song is the converse of The Unchained Soul of Rage. Cornelius is one of my many manifestations of the Indefatigable Soul of Love. This is the feeling of deep, intimate, spiritual love I have for Cornelius and some other people in my life. It is about the stuffies and toys that had to be thrown away and how their love lives on through Cornelius and through me, through my actions and my words. They cannot truly die because their love lives on within my heart.
8. Sorrowbound
My inner child feels as though it is tethered to my trauma and the things I went through. I work very hard to make sense of everything that happened to me, so that I may live more fully. This song is about introspection and growth, and how my inner child reminds me of these things.
9/10. You Are Greenhug and One Thousand Angelsymphonies and Live Starwoven in My Loveheart
This song is about a dear friend who I love very much. We have had a complex friendship, but they are very important to me. This song utilizes what I call ‘childspeak’, where many words are mashed together to make new ones, similarly to what children do. Poetry to me is language at its most concise and impactful form. I believe children communicate in the most poetic way, describing things they feel or experience in a very stripped-down and raw language. The point of this is because the words I do know don’t fully encompass how I feel about this friend. The Loveheart is the core of our beings. Things that live within the Loveheart are the most important things to us. Starwoven means literally the stuff that makes up stars. All matter cannot be created nor destroyed; who is to say that the matter that makes up our physical being isn’t the matter that was once stars at some point? In a cosmic and spiritual way, even though I do not see this friend anymore, they are woven within the most important parts of my love and being, living starwovem forever in my loveheart.
11. Spright Red
This is the literal and musical counterpart to ‘Spright Blue’. Sprites are rare lightning phenomena, so I combine this with the Yu-Gi-Oh! lore from my previous single off ‘If You Are Reading This We Are All Connected and We All Love You’. This song didn’t quite fit the feel or energy of this newest offering, but I wanted to include it anyway due to the inspiration I receive from the Spright archetype and nature.
Album credits:
Written, recorded, mixed, and mastered by Eve Beeker in the summer of 2025. All music by To Be Gentle. Song 10 “Fragments of a Eulogy” was originally written, recorded, and performed by Gillian Carter. Cover art by Eve Beeker.
Many thanks to: God, the Indefatigable Soul of Love, my dad Craig, my partner Miia, Cornelius, my siblings Zac and Sam, my sister Indy, Mel Marzolf, my friends, Logan Rivera, Conor Richards, Lucas Fisher, Luc Conejo, Pj Meyers, Pat Fisher, Nic Castillon, Emily Demsetz, Dylan Faulk, Matu, Jade, Mai, Ariel, Dahlia, Lilith, and to many others. You know who you are!
