With a ubiquitous sense of melodic trajectory, highly energetic delivery, forceful sonic punches, as well as engaged lyrics focused on loneliness and self-doubt, DYING FOR IT‘s second album “Born To Deny” is not novel to hardcore, but it’s a solid, bold offering that is well worth a spot in our track-by-track series. We have teamed up with the Redding, CA based band to find out what issues lay the fierce foundation for their potent, powerful jams, and here’s what we’ve got.
“Born To Deny” by DYING FOR IT is out now via Safe Inside Records
Simcha
The title of this song, “Simcha” is Hebrew for the word Joy. This song is about existing and finding joy, or whatever that means, on my own terms. It’s about cultivating my own sense of joy from the in between parts of life. I think a lot of people feel like there’s some sort of blueprint for happiness, like if we do this, or buy this, or look like this then we will find joy. It’s bullshit, and what I have found, or at least am trying to find, is that my simcha; my joy, comes from the in between place of all of the sadness, and the goodness.. its from both of those things that I search for joy.
Lyrics:
It’s like happiness, but not quite.
I’m not swayed by circumstance, one foot on each side of the fucking fence. What is love without despair? Where do I fucking go from here?
Still looking for the light, but I can’t seem to find. Still trying to do what’s right. I can’t give up this fight.
Even though I’m broken, this one thing I still have. Looking forward, looking back, I turn to what’s ahead. May my choices build the strength of who I’m meant to be. Even though it’s not happiness, it’s where I’m meant to be.
What the fuck is joy?
When’s It Gonna End?
This song is about being in an unhealthy friendship and knowing that it’s no good, but just waiting for the demise instead of just breaking free from it.
Lyrics:
When’s it gonna end? Will we ever stop the back and forth? Friends til the end, but I think it’s dead and good now.
You’re to fucking good for me. I’m so messed up that all I want is more.
Pick my head up. “Stop being so typical.” When I’ve got my heart in this, it’s hard to see who you really are and that’s fucking fake. Yeah, down to your fucking core. You’re self-obsessed, self-centered, and now I see it more and more.
Someone please give me the vision to view the real you, to just fucking leave it and be through. I can’t keep beating myself up just for you. You’re not worth it, never have been. So please tell me: when’s it gonna end?
Truly Alone
In my experience as an introvert, I often times feel incredibly disconnected from people. Because of this, I end up just cutting myself off from creating friendships, because I just assume that no one will understand me. It’s sometimes been an incredibly lonely existence being this way.
Lyrics:
Disconnection. Fascination. Misdirection. Motivation.
Reality is a revolving door that’s spinning around me. Is it narcissism or disconnection that won’t let me be?
How do I find connection? I’m lonely in my skin, can’t wrap my head around it, either way I can’t win.
My fascination is all I have. You don’t get me. I don’t get you. This misdirection, holding me back. Change my point of view.
You don’t get me, I don’t get you, an outsider in a crowded room.
Motivate me to understand you, an outsider in a crowded room.
Truly Alone.
Born To Deny
This track is the title track from the 10”. I wrote this song as basically a short memoir of my self destructiveness. It’s therapeutic for me to write about myself and my not so charming characteristics. This song in particular is about how a lot of my life I have cut myself off from letting people love me. I’ve lived for so long with my defenses up and having the mentality of fucking people over before they do it to me, and that has just ended up with me hurting a lot of really good people. It’s always the people whom I care for most. It has always felt like second nature for me to be a destructive force and to deny myself of love.
Lyrics:
Stuck inside my head, drowning in a sea, it’s all so poisonous, this death inside of me.
It’s in my nature to burn you alive.
I’m just a creature, born to deny.
Sometimes it comes spewing out, crashing like the sea. Now I see the consequence just from being me. A trail of disfigurement is all I have to show. I’ll show you my love, share my life, you’d better be prepared ‘cause all I got is strife.
I’ve got the best intentions while I’m shoving in the knife. I promise to make you better, when I’m no longer in your life. And no, you’ll never thank me. You’ll only ever hate me.
Predator
This song is incredibly important to me because we are currently living in a time where men in power particularly, are being very open and public with a sense of entitlement to a woman’s body. It’s also a powerful thing to see women taking back their power and no longer being afraid to call sex predators out. We see both the entitlement and abuse taking place while simultaneously seeing the rise of allies and advocates. This song is about standing up for what is right and against what is wrong.
Lyrics:
It’s not okay. What you did was wrong. Own up to it, like the man you think you are. You should be afraid. You under estimate the power of a woman scorned. Try to put her in her place. You can be sure she will rise above your hate. Take your discontent. Take all your fucking rage and push it away.
I will not clap for you. I will not vote for you. I will not cater to your self-serving, narcissistic attitude. You shouldn’t have said it. You shouldn’t have done it. I can’t believe that there’s a locker room full of you.
Eat shit, sex predator.
Don’t Buy The Lies
This song was written in regards to the tendency that anti-tobacco ads have to marketing towards teens, when in reality it should have no age limit. Tobacco companies don’t care how old their users are, just so long as they can continue to turn a profit, all the while continuing the cycle of poverty and ailments.
Lyrics:
Age matters not, but the question remains: Should old bones not be regarded the same as those that have not felt as much weight, stood all of time’s tests, been through as much pain?
Subtext ignored, caveat disregarded. I don’t need the small words to spell out the bigger picture.
Age matters not, but the question remains, should old bones not be regarded the same?Is the purpose of your message still there, when excluded are those whose choice bears the weight, perpetuates the cycle. The reason this message is even projected goes beyond those who are affected.
It will not discriminate.
It will not know the age of its user.
The concern is not who is struck next.
The concern is not who will die next.
Don’t buy the lies.
Light & Dark
I wrote this song while I started to feel myself sinking into a deep depression. I have struggled with depression for the majority of my life and I have now gotten to the point where I can feel it coming on. This song is basically about that struggle. I try really hard to keep my depression at bay, and for me, writing about it is incredibly cathartic. I’m trying to turn the hardest part of my life into something meaningful, because I’m just really tired of letting it take the best from me. It’s a complicated thing to have the cause and remedy within myself.
Lyrics:
This black hole sucked me in. I feel myself going under, darkness seeping in. I’m sick of all the sadness, so tired of all the pain. Looking for a release, wanna rid myself of shame.
Just give me some catharsis in all my dark days. Just give me some hope—things won’t remain this way. Give me some self-confidence to stop playing this game. I owe it to myself to live through all this pain.
I want to be the remedy to my own self-hate
30
I wrote this song shortly after turning 30. It was kind of tough for me. I honestly never pictured myself even living to my thirties, so when I got here it was like a panic. I did this inventory of my life and just felt like I had made it this far, and I had nothing to show for it. It became kind of like a wake up call to work on the relationships that I do have in my life.
Lyrics:
Slowly coming to the realization that I am truly alone. A sad but sterile truth. Being myself is not enough. When in life did I become so empty? When in life did I become so dense?
They say our happiness is measured through relationships, through love. Well then, if that’s the truth, I’ve got thirty years and nothing to show for it.
I’m sick of being shit at love, a flaky friend, a neglectful daughter, an alien. All I’ve wanted was just to love and be loved, but I’m coming to find that it’s one of my flaws. I’ve been called a narcissist more than once. The world only exists for me.
I truly hate being me.
Misery & Company
This track was written about someone who has been in my life longest, a friend who has known and loved me through everything. The title actually came from a conversation we had when we first met about how miserable I was, and how they’d be my company. A little over a year ago I found out that my best friend basically had a secret life and I was in the dark about it all. I took it really hard that I wasn’t someone worthy of sharing life’s ups and downs with. I felt like a joke, like someone that was there purely for amusement. It was one of the biggest betrayals that I have ever experienced, and it still messes with my head to this day.
Lyrics:
Your life’s a fucking secret, a mystery to me. You were the greatest company to my misery. So strange that you’re a stranger, when I though I truly knew you. Can you even tell me, who the fuck are you?
Do you even know? A different version for a different girl who probably feels like she’s your goddamn kindred soul. Is it all a game to you, a bait and switch, your secret lives? Am I just a pawn to you, a small piece of your fucked up puzzle?
Keep me in the dark. Keep saying that you care. You say you want the best for me, but you’re afraid to share the things in life that matter, these things that you hold close. I thought that I was one of them, but that was just a joke.
Tell me that you love me, that I’m your only friend. If you’re not gonna love me, then watch me bleed you dry.
Under His Eye
I wrote this song after reading the book and watching the tv series, The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood. It was incredibly chilling to see this dystopian society that creates parallels to ours. It seems as though in traditional American society, women are viewed as nothing more than objects whose main objective in life is to serve the patriarchy; in this case it is becoming a womb with two legs. The Handmaid’s Tale feels like a scary glimpse into a future that we may be on the path toward, with a society that has hyper conservative values, reminiscent to those that we are currently experiencing with the Trump administration.
Lyrics:
We rats in this maze can go anywhere, as long as we stay inside. Freedom is relative, like everything else. Hope in futility.
Under his eye you rape, degrade, and lie. Under his eye I have no rights. Under his eye the future is bleak. Under his eye the future is a nightmare.
A prisoner of my womb. My body is your domain. Let my soul be redeemed while my body becomes a temple.
My limbs mean nothing, my eyes need no sight. Just a warm womb to grow, while my soul rots inside.
Under his eye you rape, degrade, and lie. Under his eye I have no rights. Under his eye the future is bleak. Under his eye the future is a nightmare.
Blessed be the meek for they shall inherit the earth.
There has to be an “us”, because there is a “them”.
