It’s almost hard to believe that, until now, not a shrot note about this thunderous EP has been made in our pages, given its multiple appreciations from the underground scene and the support from screamo trendsetter label Zegema Beach Records. But today we redress that imbalance with a proper in-depth track by track feature brought to you directly by EUCLID C FINDER‘s one-man driving force, Baltimore native Mike Mehl (also of NECK FIRST, KISS THE SKY GOODBYE and EGARRA)! Step into his intense, chaotic mathcore/grindcore cataclysm and go through Mike’s personal lyrical roundup below.
As someone whose primary role has been guitarist for many years, writing lyrics in a band has been one of the hardest parts of Euclid C Finder. Many of my lyrics are deeply personal, with me addressing myself as much as I am any other person. I hope you enjoy them and the accompanying music.
01 If you pray you get your way
This song is about a very dangerous and negative mindset that I think many people, including myself, have fallen into at different points in their lives: the mindset that nothing has any meaning, and life is purposeless. To be frank, in the grand scheme of things, it’s probably true, but it doesn’t mean you should live your life selfishly, or crawl into a hole and give up. True meaning in life is subjective. Some of the greatest joys in life come from interacting with other human beings and sharing unique experiences. The lack of an objective meaning to existence is what allows each subjective experience to become meaningful.This song is to serve as a reminder to myself and others: “Everything has meaning because we create it.”
Lyrics:
Solid loving family
But your life still felt empty
Disillusioned by endless screens
Forgot about your fellow man
“Nothing has any meaning”
Through a zipper tight grin
“except the value we attribute”
The truth was right in front of you
But you turned away
You didn’t build the world you need
You built the world that truth demands
Don’t you see the path ahead
Let me paint you a gray picture
Life of destruction and selfish devotion
You read the manual wrong
Held it upside down
Put the gears on backwards
“Everything has meaning because we create it”
02 If you hope the answers nope
The past decade or so I’ve struggled with some degree of social anxiety. Unfortunately, I’ve lost a lot of friends and missed out on a lot of experiences, because the anxiety of initiating conversation, even with people I’ve known for years, has almost always overwhelmed me. I’m not sure why I have these kinds of reactions, but it’s something I’m learning to cope with and trying to heal from. This song is about those feelings of anxiety and hopelessness that I sometimes feel.
Lyrics:
I’ll spend every day left hiding from you
Until I’m old and gray and crawl into my grave
And I’m sure that this will never change
We’ve grown too old and I can’t feel your pain
Doesn’t mean that I never cared
Doesn’t mean that I don’t think of you
And I’m sure this is the price I pay
Missing funerals, regret, and shame
Doesn’t mean that I wanted to pay
Doesn’t mean that I don’t want to change
Shut the blinds outside, lock the door inside, ignore all of the signs, this is everything I want
(Sit with a mouth sewn shut
Head buried in the sand
Freeze when the time comes
Another day you’ll stand)
I’ll be dead soon anyways, floating in an unkempt grave
Don’t bother bringing flowers, I’d have done the same for you
So sorry I left you in the rain
I’d never want to get in the way
03 A Rumination on Empty Years
I spent several years of my life mostly concerned with getting high. It took a long time, and a lot of patience, but I ultimately got clean, thanks largely to the love and support of my friends and family. Despite being clean for over seven years, and making lots of good progress with my life, sometimes I find myself reminiscing on those times getting high, or wondering what it would be like to get high again. This song is about those moments.
Lyrics:
Sometimes I don’t want my heart to break
Added bonus if my bones don’t ache
Long ago I waded the river
Thought I left you drowning within her
But that’s not what I think
When I think of you
I think about the relief
Ignore the mountains of grief
And sometimes I wish
You were in my veins
Only dead men stay
(Sleep for a while
Don’t go astray
Take in the sights and sounds
Only good men stay
And if your waiting
For the perfect day
Every moments best
As you’ll soon say)
Suddenly I feel my spine shiver
Feel the ghosts scratch at my liver
But that’s not what I think
When I think of you
I think of times I survived
And of feelings you brought alive
And sometimes i wish
You were in my veins
Only the dead can say
Was it worth it all
04 Dr. Cloudshouters Secret Weapon
I know a number of people who deem themselves “centrists,” and seem to have adopted this position in an effort to stay impartial. Unfortunately, this kind of attitude generally holds society back from making progress in the areas that matter most.
Lyrics:
Blind opinion shouted 3000 miles through rusted spiderweb telephone wire
No sense of your true lot in life or its effects on others
Try to do what’s right by staying centered
Shoot us in the foot
I’ll watch the line open underneath you
Suffocate as your throat bleeds
05 Aesthetic Distance
A few years ago, I decided to go back to college so I could hopefully find a better job than the service industry job I had been working since I was 17. I found a few new passions while studying, but ultimately it severely affected my social and music life. This compounded with the general anxiety and depletion of time that accompanies studying for a degree has been fairly detrimental to my overall happiness. This song is about those feelings of doubt that have accompanied me, particularly as I near the end of this process.
Lyrics:
Tried to save me
But I’ve come here for you
Ten thousand hours threading the needle
Never even knew
That life would not
Wait and simmer
Salt the water
Boil the wound
Forget the future
Nothing is new
Salt the water
Remove the wound
It’s okay, you’ll let go of it
Don’t forget this is what’s best for you
Empty room, and a lone pulpit
Nevermind the absent crowd it’s the best we could do
It’s too late (you’ll let go of it)
Nevermind the absent crowd there’s nothing you can do
If you took the time to reflect for a minute
You’d see why this is what you had to do
Salt the water, stir the pot, and boil the wound
06 Dead Soundboy
A good friend of mine passed away this past April. We had been friends for close to ten years. He showed me a lot of great new music, and we used to spend a lot of time together. Unfortunately, he struggled with addiction and depression for as long as I knew him. I knew he would die young. When I went to his viewing, so many of his friends and family seemed angry with him. The line “I just wish he’d stayed hanging out with you” was actually said to me by one of his relatives. It was a very odd experience. Even though he was having trouble getting through life, however, he made my life better through being my friend, and I know many other people who feel the same. So, this song is for him.
Lyrics:
The flowers wilt lonesome on your grave
The year burns brighter and slips away
The memories get distorted and fade
The feeling settles far away
“I just wish he’d stayed hanging out with you.”
31 years and an empty wallet
Holes in the corners of all your pockets
Flip from shame to pride and joy
Rotten liver, swiss cheese arms
Suddenly the expected happened
Smug smiles on empty faces
They didn’t know you and didn’t care
All they saw was a life gone nowhere
And I’m wishing you could hear me
Keep the light on all of my memories
Many doubt but I truly know
A life lost is not a life wasted
