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STONE HEARTS streaming their new EP

3 mins read

Brisbane, Australia’s emo rockers from STONE HEARTS are streaming their new EP called “Nothing Seems To Change”. It’s available on cassette via small DIY local label Death’s Grip. Take to your car and enjoy the drive.

Read the weird press release and official description below.

“What the fucken fuck is this fucking shit cunt?” yeah look, yeah, it is a little fucking different to the usual shit i fuck with but, but, but that doesn’t mean its bad. Shits actually pretty cool, i was looking at the genre names that were available for tagging the songs so weird cunts i dont know will look at this shit. Anyways one of the tags was “weird rock” so i picked that shit because this is kinda that i guess.
I really dont know, i am only ever really comfortable describing ignorant mosh metal and by describe i mean listening to it and going “yeah this is fucken sickkkkkk” however it is fucking sick though.
I was gonna try swing another food metaphor/analogy by i dont wanna become a one trick dawg if you know what i am saying.
So anyways, in considering what this music sounds like and whether you should listen to it (lets face it if youve read this much shit then you probably will listen to it huh?) I came to the conclusion that this music is a lot like a moment that happened to me in sydney a few years ago.
Shai hulud was touring the country and being a big fan of that song “hardly” i went and watched them and it was mad. Anyways i was walking back to my car off oxford street in sydney whereby i chanced upon a small window above a door way. In a normal situation you would not have been able to see through this pane of glass due to its location above the door however given that there was a set of stairs it was possible from the top of the stairs to peer through the pane of glass above the door. Anyways me being the nosey bastard i am, i stole a look in there and kept walking, as i got to the bottom of the stairs it struck me that id seen something suss and that i should probably give it another suss. So i reverse my arse back up the stairs and look into the pane of glass again. Anyways through the glass you can see a hallway, through the hallway there is a doorway, through the doorway there is a loungeroom and in the loungeroom there is a lounge.
On top of that lounge lie two blokes.
Both blokes have each other dicks in their respective mouths and are fairly vigorously face fucking the living shit out of each other.
They were doing the classic “laying sixty nine” position on top of their lounge. The dude on the bottom had his fingers jammed fairly firmly up the other mans coit and was violently ram raiding this dudes throbbing member into overly eager throat.
This was some hard out shit man, like full porno styles. In fact i dont even think i have seen porn that jams people up the way these blokes were jamming each other. It was fucking hateful shit.
Anyways id be peeking at this shit going down for about 5 seconds when the bloke on the bottom some how manages to catch a glimpse of your boy sussing his set up through the small glass pane above the door way that you shouldnt be able to see into but only can because the stairs are there and he flips the fuck out. He pushes the bloke up and outta his mouth and starts to get up.
I enter my fight or flight response. I quickly realize i aint going to be able to fight a naked bloke out the front of his own house given that i was in actual fact invading his privacy by accidentally witnessing him engage in a sex act with a consenting partner. So given that that would be a rude and unreasonable thing to do, i bolt for my car.
I get to my car and start fumbling with the keys, in the mean time the dude has managed to get to the front door and hes thrown the door open. Hes got one hand on the door and one hand covering his balls (and only his balls, this is the part that still fucks me up, why was he only covering his balls???????) And his big arse dad dick was staring at me, its one eye glowering at me hatefully. In that moment the dude stops and yells “queer hater” at me.
I sped off in my car like you would not believe.

Needless to say that a middle class, white male with a fairly traditional upbringing had not encountered a great deal of moments as confronting as this particular moment and it took me about 20kms to full comprehend what on this blue/green planet had actually fucking happened.

Long story short is that this album is a lot like that feeling. It puts you a little out of your comfort zone but youre probably better off for having had such a fucking confronting experience.

Enjoy you arseholes.

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