It was 1995. I was a sophomore in small-town West Michigan—an angsty punk girl, trapped in a rural farming community. I had already been in a few bands after picking up a guitar at 13 years old, but I was starting to find a louder voice–one that was fueled by other women rockers.
In those pre-internet (gasp!) days, we had to find our way through the music world with CMJ samplers, college radio and Spin magazine.
Laying on my belly in my best friend’s room after school while smoking a Marlboro, I skimmed through an old issue of Rolling Stone from ‘94 with an article about the Breeders entitled “A Breed Apart”.
At that point, I was already thoroughly obsessed with Kim Deal, her shoe polish hair dye, and epic one-liners. The Pixies were one of my desert-island bands, and I was starting to feel the same way about the Breeders.
As time went on, I would understand even more what that break from Black Francis meant for Kim, and honestly, women musicians everywhere. That same year, Sonic Youth had released Washing Machine, though I was still obsessed with Experimental Jet Set, Trash and No Star. Just like Deal, Kim Gordon was out there kicking a ton of ass in a blunt bob and a shift dress. The word “iconic” comes to mind.
They both had set the tone for my personal journey, though it wouldn’t be long before I was ready to play music that was notably more aggressive. Over the next 30 years I would shift from thrash punk, to metal, to mathy hardcore. I never did play in a dress back then–to be honest, the hardcore scene was somewhat volatile to women guitarists, and I found it easier to hide under a hoodie with my riffs.
We women in the scene were working through a LOT during those years–it was hard to be taken seriously due to my gender, despite putting in the work. Fast forward to 2023, when I decided to start the aggressive, mathy grunge project I had always dreamed about (Tonguecutter, Learning Curve Records).
The only catch? I was now 44. Some fine lines, a few gray hairs, and driving my oldest child to highschool every morning. Long gone were the days of neverending energy and a youthful face after basement show rager. My list of wife-and-mom responsibilities rivaled my Napster download queue in 1999. I was still writing heavy music, and active in my local music scene, but I couldn’t ignore the nagging thought that maybe I’d missed the right window.
As Tonguecutter poised itself to begin playing out, I worried about the culture being more accepting of younger musicians, and feeling “aged out.” Would anyone want to see a woman in her 40s throwing down in a dive bar or DIY space? There was a noticeably high degree of older teens and college-aged young adults in punk and hardcore bands at shows. But what gave me a bit of comfort was knowing that the demographic of noise rock listeners, while still predominately male, was a much older range than other genres. The scene was grayer than it used to be—and that was a weird relief.
Why is this relevant to me, and the Kims?
The music industry is quick to cleanse itself of aged women. In the field, with only 12.7% of songwriters being women in the first place (Spotify, 2022) just getting to the stage is a challenge. Maintaining your edge as a woman performer can feel completely impossible in a world that expects you to “look sexy” yet “act mature” and “age gracefully” while accepting that your audience will lose interest in you shortly after you actually GET somewhere in life. (It takes time to learn things. To accomplish things. To hone your craft, OK?) We seem to afford this natural progression for male musicians. Yet the pressure of being impervious to passing time has women musicians “feeling like 30 is the new 80” (Medium, 2020).
Enter the Kims again.
The year I started my current band, 2023, was also the 30th birthday of the legendary Breeders album, Last Splash. That milestone didn’t pass through a graveyard of inactivity for Deal; she’s been busy this whole time. One year later, at 63 years old, she would release an absolutely flawless, gorgeous solo album, Nobody Loves You More.
Spinning it for the first time on vinyl, I cried. I felt so inexplicably proud of her. Around a year later, Gordon would release The Collective. Watching her strap on a guitar over her signature leather jacket at 72 was like a drug to me. She was completely untouchable. Still effortlessly cool, singing:
It’s not my fault I was born a man
Come on, Zeus, take my hand
Those two releases were like wind beneath my wings. I sat up straighter. I looked in the mirror and straightened my proverbial tie. The Kims don’t know me, but I’m with them. Still getting up every day and dreaming up riffs–despite stiff ankles and a stronger eye prescription. I will go as far as I can. And I owe a lot to both of them.
“Minnow,” the new album by TONGUECUTTER, is out now on Learning Curve Records. The trio—based in Iggy Pop’s hometown of Muskegon, Michigan—cranks out intense, unorthodox punk-metal bangers that fuse riot grrrl fury with thrash precision.
Vocalist/guitarist Chantal Roeske leads with a soaring voice and a love for odd time signatures, honed over three decades of making noise. “Minnow” captures that fire in full. Everything Is Noise magazine recently compared the album to DRI, SOUNDGARDEN, and BIKINI KILL, calling it “the best 2025 has to offer.” Check out the video for the first single here:
