New Music

DIPLOID’s “Mantra”: a harrowing journey through anorexia and emotional turmoil

4 mins read

Australian grind / noise hardcore powerhouse DIPLOID returns with their visceral new EP, MANTRA, marking their 20th release. The Naarm-based trio, known for their raw and unfiltered approach to metallized hardcore, confronts both personal and global traumas with relentless ferocity. In just ten minutes, MANTRA channels the band’s chaotic energy and profound emotional depth, drawing influences from ASSÜCK, ORCHID, and THE BODY, while forging their unique identity.

The EP, MANTRA, by DIPLOID is an intense exploration of Mariam Benjemaa’s personal struggle with anorexia, reflecting the darkest periods of their battle with the disorder.

The songs are deeply rooted in the emotions and thoughts experienced during this time, portraying feelings of worthlessness, denial, and obsessive behavior.

The cover artwork, a collage of a human skull made from images of lean, athletic Australian Olympians, starkly contrasts the idea of health and fitness with the reality of starvation and death. This juxtaposition serves to highlight the internal conflict and the false perceptions of being “just healthy” that accompany such a disorder. Through this EP, DIPLOID captures the relentless anger, isolation, and the suffocating grip of mental illness, providing a raw and unflinching narrative of Mariam’s journey.

“The cover art is a human skull I collaged together from a photo book of Australian athletes from the Olympics throughout time.” – offer Mariam (Maz).

“Their lean, athletic bodies perfectly represented the false attitude I had that I was “just healthy, I like to keep fit”. The concept of being nothing but skin, muscle and bone was what I felt I deserved. Only eating the minimum amount of calories my body needed to sustain organs, anything more and I was just being entitled and greedy. The juxtaposition of healthy, fit athletes and death was very much intentional.”

Diploid, by @tumtooma_art
Diploid, by @tumtooma_art

“When I think back to when I was at my worst, the main thing I remember was being angry – all the time. I was constantly irritated, repeatedly screaming at myself inside my head. I wanted that sense of unsettled rage to be represented in the artwork, so I made everything excessively red.”

This stark message underscores the urgency and passion that permeates MANTRA, an EP born from Mariam Benjemaa’s personal battles with anorexia. The album’s raw intensity is matched by its candid exploration of pain, denial, and the struggle for self-worth.

Below, Diploid offers a track-by-track commentary on MANTRA, providing a glimpse into the harrowing experiences that shaped this powerful release.

Words by Mariam (Maz).


Mantra is the definitive feeling that this illness will one day be the end of you. You will never recover, you will never get better because you don’t deserve to get better. It will be the one constant in your life until you eventually expire.


I was in denial about having an eating disorder for a long time. I just didn’t see it, I was delusional. I would notice people staring at my protruding bones or my wirery and thinning hair then shake their heads with sad disapproval. It would piss me off so much, I felt judged and it made me furious. Like “I know what’s good for me and it’s none of your business so butt out”. If anyone tried to tell me to eat more or exercise less I would feel so agitated, like they were ruining my plans for death.


Every day was the same repetition of sticking to my calorie, exercise, step, and water count. I MUST only eat x amount of calories or less, I MUST exercise for at least x amount of hours, and I MUST walk at least x amount of steps a day. My days were so focused on these arbitrary numbers and it consumed my life. I felt so alone but at least I achieved these little goals every day.


Being in so much denial of my mental illness, I would make many excuses for the physical effects it was having on my body. I was always freezing due to having a low body fat percentage and my hormones were very much unbalanced so I would shiver through cold sweats all night in bed. I would chalk everything up to anxiety, IBS, a bad night’s sleep etc, anything except actually admitting I was starving myself.


I heard the phrase “trust the process” a lot when I first committed to recovery.

“It’s going to be really difficult and uncomfortable to not exercise and be eating more, but just trust the process”.

See-sawing in and out of relapsing and recovery I would momentarily gain hope I could one day return to a life where I would eat without guilt and shame, that I didn’t have to punish myself with harsh exercise in order to justify eating. Unfortunately, the relapse rate of anorexia is high and I still carry negative behaviours and habits from this illness. The ultimate goal of losing all the weight wasn’t to be slim and beautiful or even to have a sense of control over my body – it was about feeling worthy of life. I don’t deserve food because I don’t deserve to live. I should die, and a method of doing so was withholding food until my body gives up and dies.

Diploid, by @tumtooma_art
Diploid tour dates, by @tumtooma_art

Diploid will be touring through Australia the coming time. Catch them on one of the dates below:

Friday 05/07 | Illawarra Dharawal Land | Wollongong
Saturday 06/07 | Cadigal Wangal Land | Sydney
Saturday 13/07 | Meanjin | Brisbane
Sunday 14/07 | Kabi Kabi and Jinibara Land | Nambour
Friday 19/07 | Naarm | Melbourne
Saturday 27/07 | Kaurna Country | Adelaide
Friday 02/08 | Naarm | Melbourne
Saturday 03/08 | Bunurong Land | Frankston


Karol Kamiński

DIY rock music enthusiast and web-zine publisher from Warsaw, Poland. Supporting DIY ethics, local artists and promoting hardcore punk, rock, post rock and alternative music of all kinds via IDIOTEQ online channels.
Contact via [email protected]

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